Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can be loved.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Why do orphans play baseball?
That’s the only way they can run to home.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
