DoS

DoS jokes

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.

These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.