What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
