DoS jokes

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.

What do you call people from Paris?

Parasites.

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

Why do midgets laugh while they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

Why do girls not have balls?

Because they don’t.

What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.

What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?

They both broke and everybody cried.

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

Me: Do you like cobble?

My friend: No.

Me: Gobble deez nuts!

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

What do you call a black comedian?

Dark Humor.