DoS jokes
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
What do you call a straight orphan?
A no homeo.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.