DoS jokes
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
What do you call a Black person having a seizure?
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.
BUT!!!!!!
I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.
As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.
I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.