DoS jokes
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What do you call a cute door?
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.