Do jokes
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!