I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day and she said i could be anything i wanted to be if i put my mind to it, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it even if it's messy
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon
A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun
What's the depressed person's favorite song? Van Halen - Jump
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you tell if someone is depressed? The brains on the wall
I laughed at my life so hard
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships. It's a sad state of affairs.
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
*2 friends fighting* Friend 3: cut it out you two!! Friend 4: it wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried...
its still depression btw
A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.
Happines belong to you then gave you depressed
SOMEONE:WHEN YOU SUFFER FROM DEPRRRESION AND SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO CHEER UP
ME:MY WHAT A GREAT IDEA WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT;)
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream" -Margret "Why"-Depress boy "Because he got ran over"-Margret "I wish that was me"-Depress boy
Which way is quicker to die? Noose? or Slitting my throat?
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
less Depresso more espresso, i'm still depressed but now im fast.
wow he stole my antideprresive toy. the next day he was on the ground
