Delivery driver jokes

Why did the mailman come to the house?

To come back with the milk.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"