Day Care jokes

On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?

What's a cannibal's favorite place?

A day care.

So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?

Little kids leave preschool.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”