Conjuring jokes

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.