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To all of the people who have called me ugly:

Your opinion on my looks doesn't change my personality. I may be ugly, I may be a disgrace to look at, but I don't care. You're not the judge of what is beautiful, so fuck off. I know I'm ugly, and having so many people tell me this has made my self esteem image 100 times worse. So I hope you can all sleep well knowing that you ruined my image of myself.

And you're right. I am ugly.

Halloween is my favorite time of year because I can kidnap and mutilate those bloody children right off the streets and nobody will bat an eye. They'll just talk about what a funny stunt it was or tell me how impressive my "realistic" decoration is They'll never know the truth

Oki guys, heres a small recount of my school camp 😂😂😂😂

So, day 1, we went to do the high ropes and leap of faith stuff at Woodhouse. Then, that night I had no sleep. Why? THE BOYS WERE:

1, SUMMONING THE SPAGHETTI MAN (so scary, right?)

2. SCREAMING, YELLING AND MOANING ALL NIGHT.

3. DING DONG DITCHING US NON STOP.

4. HAVING A BLOODY MOTHERS MEETING IN THE HALLWAY AT 12 IN THE MORNING.

5. WALKING AROUND SINGING THE BLOODY PEPPA PIG SONG

AND 6. WALKING AROUND WITH THEIR SHOES MAKING THUMPING SOUNDS.

Day 2, much better day. We went kayaking and went to the beach to go boogie boarding. I had a much better sleep. Not much happened that day, and today was pretty good. 👌

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they… Read more

Matt, these idiots want to ban me because I have an opinion. And you're just in the background letting me take their stupid ass shit. The point of your website is to put funny offensive jokes, right? THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! If you're an over sensitive 9 year old like Saddienotbaddie or Luasy4eva, don't go on a website like this. Go play with your Hot Wheels or your Barbies.

Okay guys, I did it. If you ever get bullied, here's the right thing to say, all of my reception and yr 1 teachers told me to do this, It always works-

Just say "Stop it, I don't like it!"

This is completely a waist of time, but worth it at the same time.

*Dad's sitting on the couch reading news paper when wife walks in*

Husband: "This music.. Is the final boss coming? Or worse.. It's my wife..."

Wife: "You jobless monkey... Money to pay bills doesn't grow on tree's"

Husband: "Well it's no my fault.. And I was born poor *Over it* If I was son of Bill Gates I'd bathe in money.."

Wife: "First go bat… Read more

I car slid into a ditch right Infront of me this morning it scared the fuck ut of me luckily the lady was ok

Lyrics She's more than just a pretty face In a late night bar More than just a pair of tight jeans Sitting in your car She's more than a last call kiss Or a one night stand Remember, boy, you weren't the first to hold her hand She's somebody's daughter She's somebody's everything She's somebody's little girl Even if she's grown up and moved away She's somebody's whole world She's somebody's baby And if you don't trea… Read more

im oficialy single for life i gess my ex called me a hoe and is know dating my twin sister so how is that right

ok if you get this right you will have good luck i have 3 eggs i crack one cook one and eat one how many eggs are left

Honey, I thought you should know That I'm in a hurry I've got to move up north But it's just temporary When I look at you I see your beauty Now my baby boy he's gonna lose me But Heaven's not too far away I know someday you'll visit And I didn't think it'd go this way Can I please have one more minute? No honey, I don't want to go Please know that I have to Look how the cancer has grown I think it's time I go home Ye… Read more