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Hello. I’m the owner of Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and a lot more. I’m also the owner of Twitter. I’m also the soon-to-be ruler of Mars. I’m the smartest person in the world, and I’m also a real-life Tony Stark. And, by far, the most handsome man alive. At least 20x better looking than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. And at least 500x better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio. All that being said... I still wish I w… Read more

Guys, I think its time to accept this site is dead. It brings me great sadness to say, but it is the objective truth. Lets begin with the obvious: the lost. Wade, Perc, SaH, Wilkson, they are all gone. Some of our best users have not been on in months.

Second is the lack of trolls, I know its odd to say but I miss the days when you could get on an anon and bully people, or troll. I also miss the hate directed at cer… Read more

Prologue + chapter one. Is it all a dream? Charlie knight Thank you to my Editor, Agustas. Is it all a Dream? Charlie Knight Introduction

I remember when I first died. I have no idea how this dream became a reality. Is it a reality?

I was running from something... Something evil, but from what? It was hard to remember. Struggling, I kept running. Soon the hall came to an end. Quickly, I ran into a room, diving … Read more

I've got no balance in this life I can't let go of what I like Somebody told me in a dream That I look weaker when I cry My mother used to tell me things I know I wasn't supposed to know What's that got to do with me? How the fuck do I let go? Pitfalls from God without a rope Colored chalk around my throat How the fuck do I let go? She says, "Don't ya love me?" (And if not, then why?) She reminds me of mom (okay, alr… Read more

Guys, it's not looking too well...

I survived, but I'm no longer the person who I used to be.

I'm now strapped onto a wheel chair, paralyzed from the waist down. The "waxing paper" thankfully didn't reach any vital organs, but it did cause numbness in my buttocks and my legs a few minutes after I had done the act, which later lead to me having paralysis.

It gets even worse...

Sadly, my girlfriend left me due to m… Read more

Guys, for whatever reason, please do NOT use fly trap paper to wax your asshole!!!

Today, I was trying to search around my house for some waxing paper because my intertwined lengthy asshole hairs created a humid environment to where sweat and fungus was able to be produced. Then, I looked in my father's garage and I was able to find a large sheet of waxing paper (or so I thought).

The waxing paper was yellow for wh… Read more

Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more

I get it. You hated him 4 years ago and you still do today

I have seen a lot hate and vitriol thrown his way, but the guy is an overachiever and defies the odds.

Perhaps it is jealousy and people can't stand the thought of how much money and success he has.

Yeah, it may be true that he has had his fair share of scandals. He may have told a few lies here and there and twisted the truth to make himself look better. … Read more

so if i wanted to theoretically buy a theoretical vigilante mask that theoretically looked kinda like red hood, and was vey strong with me being able to see perfectly out of it where would i find it? theoretically

Ok, we all know the web is truly toast when we actually start looking at the jokes, side of the web

Don't look at my username. Oh man you just did. Fun fact: You can't say /m/ with your mouth open. You just tried. I'm correct agian. You didn't see that I misspelled "again." You just checked. Don't look at my profile picture. You looked. You didn't notice I misspelled "look." You just realized I spelled it correctly. Copy and paste this comment as many times as possible. This was stolen from somebody else, continue the chain ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (ʘᴥʘ).

when ur first dance is with a 12yo... and you have to touch her feet for a grade... and you are 16... and she's like 4'8... and looks like a 4th grader...

As some may know or have noticed, I have been off this site for a year. That was because of c.ai. I have a lot to keep up with, so I have looked back at my earlier posts and tried to look through this site again, I have noticed something I can’t remember: In-jokes. Is that something new? What is it for, and is it any different than memes?

I cant keep doing this I am hurting my family doesnt even care i try to be happy but I guess I suck at that too. everyone looks down on me I am worthless I am something that wasnt made to be put on this earth i am ugly, i hate my life i am nothing i am so sorry good luck guys

So I'm a beta male for being muscular, and being attractive? So I'm a beta male for being gifted, and my dick being so massive? So I'm a beta male for not being afraid to speak my mind? So I'm a beta male for not looking for a hive to seek and bind?