House Community
GENESIS 19 Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed 1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.” “No,” they answered, “we will spend the ni… Read more
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. fucking damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realize Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid tiny fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god.
Im gonna fucking kms, why? THIS- bro im crying rn (not as a joke) here is the email I sent my mom
Uhm, remember when I gave your number to my friend? so when I pass my classes I can go over to their house? They had their number in their backpack pocket, and they were like "ADDISON IM GONNA CALL YOUR MOM" I freaked out, and I don't wanna get in trouble, so I'm apologizing now, instead of waiting until get home, and they called you about planned pregnancy, and I took the phone out of their hands and tried hanging up, but it didn't work, and I'm sorry. please don't me mad.
and I'm crying so hard rn ima kms
Conversations with my younger self
How is oscar is he still jumping around like a kangaroo?
No, he got stuck underneath our dad's car now he can't jump.
how is grandnan is she still alive and well?
no, we lost her on February 21st at the age of 90.
our we still in the house we loved
no, we had to move houses because we couldn't afford it anymore.
are we still best friends with charlie Clarkson
no, she said something means about my parents and we stopped being friends in April 2021
But are we still happy all the time and have sooooooo many friends
No, we are just friends with a few people but they are awesome.
Hey I got a riddle for y’all.
In 1893, a family in a rural village welcomed twins. One a girl, and the other a boy. The girl was named Martha and the boy named Henry. As the children grew, their family’s fortune did as well, and soon they were able to move out of the rural village and into the city. It is now 1903, and the family of 4 purchases a large house and several acres of land on the edge of the city. Over th… Read more
I love how these 'vegans' are still drinking water.
That could have been a fishes house u bitch
(I'm not vegan btw, just paying them out)
I feel weird with all these people talking in German and I have no idea what their saying it’s like when I go to my neighbours house and they start talking in Spanish and I have no idea what’s happening
Soooo I'm gonna sum up what I did in this year (2045). First off, I tied up ZEPHYR and fucked his hoe shay after drugging her. She died in a crash on her way home. Then I tortured ZEPHYR and forced him to tell me all his jokes and I used his jokes to get some real ass bitches. I also got rich off of my jokes and bought this website and renamed it into BESTJOKESEVER. Now all of the jokes on BESTJOKESEVER.COM must be top tier or I will personally come to your house and beat the shit out of you.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
A person walks into a ladies house and says “I’m gunna kill you.” And she’s says “you fool you can’t kill me” and the guy asks “why not” and she reply’s “ I’m in the living room” and the guys says “hey can you get me a drink?” And the lady walks in the kitchen and gets shot in the back