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Hey guys, remember Shadow? The guy weird guy with the Supra profile pic? Where did he go? What happened to him?

This is completely a waist of time, but worth it at the same time.

*Dad's sitting on the couch reading news paper when wife walks in*

Husband: "This music.. Is the final boss coming? Or worse.. It's my wife..."

Wife: "You jobless monkey... Money to pay bills doesn't grow on tree's"

Husband: "Well it's no my fault.. And I was born poor *Over it* If I was son of Bill Gates I'd bathe in money.."

Wife: "First go bat… Read more

True funny story. Today on the school bus I looked at one of the older kids behind me and said “do you like hentai?” Then he said “no do you?”, then I said yeah then he said “do you jack off?” Then i said “yes” then i said “lets shake hands” after we shook hands the girl siting next to him started laughing and said “why did you do that!”, the guy quickly used alot of hand sanitiser after relizeing why i shook his hand

Soooo I'm gonna sum up what I did in this year (2045). First off, I tied up ZEPHYR and fucked his hoe shay after drugging her. She died in a crash on her way home. Then I tortured ZEPHYR and forced him to tell me all his jokes and I used his jokes to get some real ass bitches. I also got rich off of my jokes and bought this website and renamed it into BESTJOKESEVER. Now all of the jokes on BESTJOKESEVER.COM must be top tier or I will personally come to your house and beat the shit out of you.

Bruh this fake Royal is getting on my nerves. I think I'm gonna perform a blood angel on him if he doesn't shut up

so my dog ate a tennis ball. and then a golf ball. so does that make him 2% ball now???

My EDP x Chet Goldstein fanfic Chet: You don't like women your age huh? Then whaddya say about men your age?

Edp445: * blushes * W-what the hell are you talkin' bout man, I ain't gay bro I'm just here for a cupcake.

Chet: Oh, you say so? * grabs Edp445 by his collar and kisses him *

Chet: Then whaddya think of this?

Edp445: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR MAN!!! (in a muffling voice, while blushing intensely) altough… Read more

She put him out Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette She broke his heart He spent his whole life tryin' to forget We watched him drink his pain away A little at a time But he never could get drunk enough To get her off his mind Until the night

[Chorus: Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss ] He put that bottle to his head And pulled the trigger And finally drank away her memory Life is short, but this time it was bigger Than the strength he had to get up off his knees We found him with his face down in the pillow With a note that said, "I'll love her 'til I die" And when we buried him beneath the willow The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Incoming message all members please read: we are going to war with the stig, we must drive him out of this website. We are also going to crush the so called "stig nation". THIS IS WAR!!!! ⚔️

He is so HOT! Seriously look at the guy, those abs and that face damn, I just FUCK him...so hot!

ROUND 3: A thief enters a shop and threatens the clerk, forcing him to open the safe. The clerk says, "The code for the safe is different every day, and if you hurt me you'll never get the code". But the thief manages to guess the code on his own

what is it?

Hey guys I need help. I'm a new parent and my newborn isn't breathing anymore, I was giving him a bath roughly 3-4 hours ago and left him to do his own thing came back and wasn't breathing anymore what do I do? Please don't sat put him in the micowave because I just tried it for 5-6 minutes with no affect. Please help!

ALL THE FUCKIN’ WIDE RECEIVERS is black, you know what I’m sayin’, except you and David fuckin’ Ball, but David Ball, man, that’s a nobody, fuck him, y’know what I’m sayin’, but...

When Jeremy Maclin went down, when, when, he tore his ACL and his fuckin’ MCL in the same goddamn day, dawg, I was over here, I’m lookin’ like, “Aw, shit, man, Jeremy Maclin went down”. Everybody’s all y’know, mad and pissed off, I’m lookin’ like, man, I’m lookin’ like, man, y’know I hope Jeremy Maclin ge-e-et better, but fuck, time for Riley Cooper, that [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ beast, fuckin’ hog, fuckin’ ballin’ out in the show, I mean, I mean, the [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ monster, you kno-ow what I’m saying, Riley Cooper, man, that dude, shit. Love him! Now I look like a fuckin’ idiot, man

I'm gonna try and figure my password out, 2.0 isn't me! Plz ignore him!

Honey, I thought you should know That I'm in a hurry I've got to move up north But it's just temporary When I look at you I see your beauty Now my baby boy he's gonna lose me But Heaven's not too far away I know someday you'll visit And I didn't think it'd go this way Can I please have one more minute? No honey, I don't want to go Please know that I have to Look how the cancer has grown I think it's time I go home Ye… Read more

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They g… Read more

My friend and I got into a religious argument during school. He told me to go to hell. I told him it doesn't exist. He was pissed.