Clearance jokes

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

Bleach!

How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.