Clearance jokes

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."