Chill pill jokes

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?

Because they never take a chill pill.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...