Chemistry teacher jokes

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

AP Chemistry.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".