New Canning Jokes - Page 108 - Worst Jokes Ever

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."

Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The end.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."