What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and a tree 🌳 can not walk
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What can fly?
Bird.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What is the difference between a car and a tree 🌲? A tree 🌳 can not drive but a car 🚗 can drive
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!
What is the difference between a human and a house 🏡? A human can walk and a house 🏡 can not walk
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
What is the difference between a house and a car 🚘? A car car can drive and house 🏡 can not drive
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
What is so good about a dog that can not see? Nothing is good
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
