Canning jokes
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car?
A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.
What is a car that runs and can't?
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
What is the difference between a magic house 🏠 and a human?
A magic house 🏡 can fly, but a human cannot fly.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.