What do you call a school bus that you can not drive? A friend
Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.
What do you call a dog that can fly? A magic dog 🐕
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish 🐠 🐟
What can you build with people? A boat!
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Its really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
i dont have any friends if you like this i can be your friend :)
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
