Canning jokes
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?
Nah, it's too cheesy.
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)