How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Canning Jokes
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Why can orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home. π€£π€£π€£
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
why do orphans go to church?
because they can finally call someone "father."
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can orphans watch PG movies?
Because it's "Parental Guidance."
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, itβs mine!