Cannabis jokes
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Why is 19 afraid?
Because if you add 400 to it, it’ll be next to 420.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.