Both jokes
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
Leave you answer in the comments. The answer will be revealed in 24 hours.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.