Benefit

Benefit jokes

Santa Claus

    • Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

    Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

    So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

    Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

  • 0

    • Dwarf

    • Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

    ...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

  • 1

    • Account

    • Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).

    Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

    Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

    Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

    leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    flappytitesblachheroin https://worstjokesever.com/@flappytitesblachheroin Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    arsonisfuntransgenderblach https://worstjokesever.com/@arsonisfuntransgenderblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    ahitlerblach https://worstjokesever.com/@ahitlerblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    blachxl (by Wade w my permission) https://worstjokesever.com/@blachxl Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

  • 1

    • Fire

    • Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

  • 1

    • Self Harm

    • My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

  • 2

    • Bar

    • Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

  • 2

    • Crush

    • What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

    She can't say no!

  • 1

    • CEO

    • So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

    Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

  • 0

    • Masturbation

    • Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

    It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

  • 0