And jokes

What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??

Cot death!

What's white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

  • 0

    • My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

  • 9

    • When did “yo” mean Hello?

    They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

    Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

    The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

    What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?

    A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."

    Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

    My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

    She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

    I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • What is the difference between a car and a tree?

    A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

    Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?

    Because they were using the computer and thought about it.

    What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.

    What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

    Then you get the name Chrisa.

    A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!