And jokes

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?

"Mum" and "Dad."

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂

So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"