And jokes
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
What starts with F and ends with CK?
Firetruck.
Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
All my 9/11 jokes crash and burn.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.