And jokes
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
What's the difference between white people and Africans?.... The white people get water.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
What is the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.