And jokes
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.
And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.