And jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

They both have a history of separating colors.

What do Jesus and a painting have in common?

They hang by nails.

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

Pikachu, I choose you!