And jokes
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?