And jokes

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."

What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.

Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

What's the difference between a boy and gold?

More people want gold.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?

There is no difference.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.