And jokes
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Me and my life.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.