And jokes

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

I like my women how I like my wine.

Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Suicide gives you security for the future.

Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

How do you get two deaf people from fighting?

Turn off the lights and walk out.

My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.

My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.