And jokes

Add joke

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

I

FCC’s

Rhgstvyvybuiucrxbukuvtxw is a really nice day to come over and Thursday morning at the skatepark. I hygybhbubugydedhepbzehnsiejrfuidjojdueu is a bdebdurbxornixrnidnrjbdirudjbdjebhsbeha hle se hav rhz rhombus rhxhbeihs Heudjebxrbxh rbxh.

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

Two female mice met and one spoke:

"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."

Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."

"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."