And jokes

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.

Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and sick his dick.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...