And jokes

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

What's the difference between Black and White people?

Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.

What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

Q: How do you make a fire?

A: Oil and dead babies.