And jokes
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.