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And jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.

KA-DOOM-CHA!

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

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    • Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

    A. Denephew.

    How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

    199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

    Get?

    Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

    Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

    What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

    You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

    Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

    It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

    My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

    My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

    Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.

    “May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.

    The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”

    Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.

    The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.

    “Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.

    “Does your dick touch your asshole?”

    “No.”

    The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.

    “Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.

    “Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”

    “Yep.”

    “Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”

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    • What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?

    Nothing, they're both dead.

    How are giants and strippers alike?

    They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

    I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.