And jokes
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.
He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."