Admission jokes

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

Heaven is like university: no one gets in.

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

I am Araf, and I am clumsy.

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."