Admission jokes

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

Heaven is like university: no one gets in.

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

I am Araf, and I am clumsy.

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.