A-list jokes
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
Labor party.
All of them.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Number.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Unbearable meme attempt 1
saddest youtube comment :(
Community talk
I love my bed and Taylor swift and Tate McRae and tower 28 concealer and morphe blush and Kajal and maroon liplinee abd NYX fat gloss and Lynette scavo and Celina Juarez and pinkie pie and honey and pasta and gym and abs and my home and my sister's and my friends and Ava max and my bed
I have diabolical hear me outs... Charlie knows maybe one or two.. but i have a list </3
for your whole life people expected things from you. be good, be better, be successful, be happy, and you've tried, sometimes at the expense of your own peace, but to be good enough for others, maybe some of it helped, but a lot of it just made you feel like youre never doing enough, but whos life are you really living? whos voice are you trying to impress? if its not yours, let it go. you dont have to chase after a perfect life to deserve peace. youre not a list of achievements, youre a person, and your life, gets to feel like yours.