The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Shower thoughts
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates? Either way they’ll kill your dog
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball Because nobody misses them
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball Because nobody misses them
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball Because nobody misses them
What’s the difference between chocolate and people You can’t buy people nowadays
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever? Close the casket