My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Shower thoughts
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and on their land.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.