A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.