Shower thoughts

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I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he’s for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!” George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!” Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?