During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Wade
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason. Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish." Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? No ballroom.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Arik? (Not a joke)
