Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
GG Miller
@ggmiller
If you're feeling depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it Sum Ting Wong.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.