I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
GG Miller
This is the Polo Gang..
Just posting corny dad jokes.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.
when people say they get ho's: you dont get no ho's the only ho's you get is in yo draws
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student: "A drinking problem.
what has a head a tail but no body?
Type answer in chat
Jake: can I go outside Mom: did you clean your room Jake: No Mom: Then f*ck no Jake: alright bet (Brother named no)
(This is a cruel joke, do not say this to anyone it just popped up in my mind)
Roses are Red Violet's are blue yo grandma died, yo dad left you too, now you living with yo old grandma coot. 'oh' let's not forget yo mom left you to, you gon live alone, die alone, with no roses on yo casket too.
why did the dinosaur take a bath? so it can get ex-stinked
Yo momma armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!