"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
GG Miller
This is the Polo Gang..
Just posting corny dad jokes.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.
Roses are Red Violets are blue I thought shrek was ugly, until I saw you
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?
You so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say Goodbye
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
When your friends talking about sports: Jake says " It was 17.56M people watching in basketball championship"🦁
Sam says " It was 113M People watching the Super Bowl" 😯🐱
Avion says "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching World Cup 😶🙀
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
What can you catch, but not throw?
What do people use more than you that is yours?
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?